denial Filipino style

by mark
(canada)

I posted a story about a terrible experience meeting a lady in Butuan. Her family were lazy, freeloaders, intrusive, with absolutely no boundaries or manners etc you know the story.

Ready to use and exploit me or any foreigner/ofw. I was prey...What I witnessed and how they abuse kanos was incredible. it s like a business for them pimping their children or using their children to support them.

Of course they don't see it that way.

They are thieves and ready to destroy a persons life and relationship for greed. even ofws i met online describe their family this way and even call them narcissistic ineffectuals or possessing this cluster b disorder, and they do, believe me, these are the worst people i ever met.

I'm still trying to get over it and have this women still telling me she loves me and ready to leave her family behind and who are now telling her to find another kano who will give to the family. i wont give to such immoral people.

This post is for those who defend such immoral and destructive behavior. And post negative comments about us and for us speaking the truth.

We are simply looking for decent partners whom will treat us with dignity and respect. not deceive, cheat, and exploit us or allow it to happen.

You are obviously ignorant people in denial or you behave this way yourself or your family does.All I can say is you are the assholes. The enablers of the immoral.

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Nov 17, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		thx for those whom validate
by: Anonymous

well im not going to minimize such immoral and destructive behavior. This is not about being a poor country. Many of them possess sociopathic/npd behavior. This is an evil way to treat another human being and why they are poor.They feel entitled to use exploit others and each other. Many ofw's are experiencing this as well.I don't feel sorry for such people after i've seen what they are capable of.My gf wont let me go.... but her family asked her to find another kano who would send them money. This is pretty hurtful stuff to go thru. TRAUMATIZING...I want to let her go because of this. They eat, drink ,booz, smoke, have parties, have many children etc....its not that they need... its what they do... of course not all... like i said some are very aware of this in their culture...if you minimize or deny such behavior to me are part of the problem in society. if you cant see it... thats a problem... i care about her...there are no positives to see here with her family... they are users takers,,,, if im nice or open my door they will take,,,, they have no limits... harsh yes....reality yes...have compassion for their victims... victims of sociopathy...im an object to them.. ill never see a positive side to that... and they are intruding in my relationship as they want to use her to get from me. im happy for those people whom have found love there and are happy but i know you are also aware my experience is common there, i met many unhappy expats there,,,, you can see it in their faces also... these families just feel entitled...findways to get...its not about being close either,,, its enmeshment..using others to take care of them, selfish motives thank you...
Oct 08, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sound like you had a real bad experiance
by: Anonymous

You might try contacting some women on some of the other islands away from Manila like Bohol or Cebu. There are many middle class and educated women there. The smaller islands are nothing like Manila , Cebu even has a international airport. Both Islands are very beautiful places to visit and worth seeing. My wife keeps tight control of the funds when we are over there ,sure every one has their hand out but she has no trouble saying no. When people over there ask for money i tell them talk to the wife i don't carry any. They are a lot more embarsed to ask her for it. My wife works full time and sends some boxes back home and money to help her mom but this is with my blessing since i like her family. Hope you find the right woman for you , keep looking. If you want to date the same one have her meet you on another island away from her family to see what she is really like for several weeks.
Oct 01, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Really?
by: Anonymous

Dont mince words...tell us how you REALLY feel.
Oct 01, 2015
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starstarstarstar 		denial Filipino style
by: GRAAM

Man, that is so harsh even though it is so true. But then you know, not every single family is like that. You didn't have to put those people on blast though. Just try to think of the positives if any.
Oct 01, 2015
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starstarstar 		Sorry you had such a bad experience
by: David

While the Philippines is a very corrupt country,it is also a very poor country trying to become a more modern country. They see all the great thing us foreigners have in our every day lives. They watch or movies and tv shows and think why shouldn't our lives be like that. They see foreigners as all rich and people who can afford to share their wealth. Life on most of the smaller islands is not like the big city of Manila , in the rural area life is simpler , my wife's family who were middle class worked hard to send all their children to collage. When my wife got a job after college she bought their first TV set. My wife has always been a hard worker and due to her help we should have a good retirement. I have no problem with her sending money over to help her retired mom , her pension from teaching school is not enough to get by. We have also helped some of her family through school to become nurses so they can better their lives. When i visit there i am treated great and like part of the family. Granted you can't go anywhere with out the whole family coming along and you are expected to pick up the tab. I really enjoy the time spent with the wife's family and we often make it a family outing . It is fun to take the whole family to the beach in a jeepney for the day to swim & eat. You see the island sights from their point of view. I have been married now for 26 years and continue to learn new things about the Philippines all the time. Try to look at things from their cultures ,point of view.

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